It is my belief that an affair happens because people feel a disconnect with their romantic partner. As a result, they feel vulnerable and are more open to others pursuing them or they are more likely to pursue another. The person engaged in the affair and still in a relationship with another person may have already gone through the grieving process over the loss of the first relationship to some degree and cannot seem to share this grief with the person it needs to be shared with before attempting to move on. Perhaps it is a selfish need from low self-esteem to be in a new relationship before leaving the old one and to feel secure in the new one that prohibits the conversation that needs to happen from happening first. Regardless of the reasons that affairs happen, they really cause more harm than they need to. If is much healthier, and less impulsive, if a person who is feeling the disconnect, or the need to reconnect with someone new, to please let the person you are feeling disconnected know how you are feeling. You will either be facilitating a conversation towards healing a disconnected relationship and making it healthier or you are showing respect to everyone involved and allowing the two of you to disengage before you move on. Either way, the result is less hurt, feelings of betrayal and disappointment that are more likely to heal, and increased self-esteem.
What thoughts do you have an affairs?